I heard the alarm this morning I'm sure, but I must have thought it was in my dream, maybe I thought it was the fire alarm in one of those steamy I can't quite see through all the ripe romance fog dreams where you wake up with a smile on your face. Yea, that dream where the alarm is roaring at the 5 alarm fire and the husky fireman with a very cute goatee is climbing a ladder wearing his yellow, I'm dirty because I'm hot - pants and he flings me over his shoulder and carries me right down to a waiting candlelit table for two, with smoked salmon and salad and bread, lots of bread, on the menu. I don't like fish, but I would for that dream.
Ok, so I think it wasn't THAT particular dream, probably more the one where my teeth are falling out and I'm trying to put them back in, or I'm naked at high school behind a rock and no one notices it but me and the alarm bell is ringing for the next class. Besides, the firemen wouldn't have a goatee, being that they really aren't supposed too (except in dreams where they help me with my smile) and he'd have to take time off to recuperate from carrying my ass.
Point being, I didn't remember the alarm as the kind that makes you get up and make something out of your life at the day job you need so bad so you can keep buying mic stands you leave at clubs (if you find one, it's mine).
So...I didn't quite hear it completely.
Here's the deal on this:
I start my day job at 7:30 a.m. and when I looked at the alarm, it said 7:23 a.m. Thank God I live 4 minutes from work. So, math, which isn't usually my best suit, was in high gear and it meant I had exactly 3 minutes to get dressed and out of the house. I got to work at 7:34, none the wiser, except of course when I boasted about it.
That being said, I realized that I hadn't made my Bor-Bulous (fabulously boring) 5 meals a day extravaganza like I had been doing so good with the last 3 days. I freaked. What am I going to do? It's a scary tasty crap world out there when you're ill prepapred. But, this is when forgetfulness can come in handy. I forgot that I had left a bag of apples on my desk that I had brought in for and had forgotten to take to a meeting. Fruit - check. And then there was the Gen-Soy bar I found squished in the bottom of my briefcase - Gen/soy, whatever it really is = check!
So, that sufficed for a while. Later at my lunch break, I had to do an errand. Wow, stepping out into the tasty crap world where all my best buddies are. Wendy, McDonald, Carl (the son, not the dad) and Jack. Fast food restaurants to me have been my crack buddies for years. I don't smoke or do drugs, but if I did, the guys hanging on the street corner with me, would be these dudes. They'd take a bullet for me! Or a curly fry. They're family! But, just like family, you need it in moderation. So, going and doing this errand would take me right past my red haired step-sister and my old man, the farmer. Surprisingly, like always, I found my van pulling into the Wendy's driveway. Surprisingly because I wasn't on auto pilot like when I chew my nails and don't realize - I knew I was pulling in there! I pulled up to the menu microphone and starting talking in another language. I said "grilled chicken wrap with no sauce and extra lettuce." It just came out so natural. I almost looked into my purse to see if a passport had appeared, it was so foreign sounding to me. I guess hanging with the dudes on the street corner isn't such a bad thing afterall, especially if they're clean cut kids that don't cause too much trouble.
I smiled to myself as I approached the window and came face to face with a frown. "I'm sorry", the drive up window professional said. "Can you wait 4 minutes?" What??! Didn't he know I was in the middle of changing my life here? I got to embrace the change while the fire is hot! It can't wait! Turns out the grilled chicken wasn't the hot ticket item (like I hope to someday be...). "I'm not sure", I said and he told me that they did have cripsy chicken and BBQ all ready instead. Again, I started talking in another language "I'll wait for the grill chicken."
NOTHING tasted as good as that grilled chicken. I'm still not quite sure if it was because it actually tasted good because I stuck to my guns or because I was so friggin' hungry.
LESSONS
Forgetfulness can be your friend.
Fast Food isn't the enemy, you are.
Food is more enjoyable when you actually let yourself get hungry.
FOOD EATEN
coffee with light cream and sugar (3)
apples (2)
Gen Soy bar
grilled wrap chicken, no sauce, extra lettuce from Wendy's
bean and cheese burrito from Carl's Jr/Green Burrito
cup of chocolate milk
cup of tea
EXERCISE
Does walking down the stairs after work count?
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